Rethinking the Past.

Self Improvement

What I really mean is to think again about your past life. I don’t mean to worry about it. Worry is a waste of time; it doesn’t solve the problem rather it gives you more reasons to worry. And the more you worry the more you wary and probably become inactive.

What I really mean by rethinking the past is to look back and observe the funny, awful, stupid and brilliant decision you have made, or the funny, awful, stupid and brilliant actions you have taken. I believe our past is an embodiment of wisdom for us. Not just ours, but other peoples past also has a lot to teach us, we can learn a lot from other people’s experience.

If we rethink our past we might actually find wisdom needed to live tomorrow. We might actually avoid decisions that won’t take us close to our dreams.

It might not really be all about our self, someone once said the best way to live is to live for other, I believe that also, that is actually the most honourable way to live on earth. You don’t really need much theory or investigation to understand that, just look at those people who have lived and are still living and are assumed to be great, trace them from the past to the present then you can probably discern how they lived.

So you can actually rethink the past, your past, and other people’s past just to gain enough wisdom to help yourself and other people live.

But for me, it’s more of the stupid things that I have thought about or done and most of my struggle in life.

One of the funniest thing I still remember was when I was critically analyzing the net worth of the richest man in the world, and I was like that was a whole lots of money about $70 billion, and would say “why can’t this man take out half of his money and share it to the entire world” if he eventually do that the whole people in the world will become millionaires.

But I still don’t know why that sort of action hasn’t happened, why no one has don that, or isn’t it possible?

Though, individuals will be happy, but I don’t know what the market will look like. Maybe it will make everyone lazy, no one will care to buy, sell, create, invent and all that. I still if think, if that eventually happen the money might still go back to the pocket where it came from.

Definitely, it’s not all about the money you made; it’s about what the process you took in making the money made you to be. It’s about the principle you learn in the process.

Again, here is one of the most ridiculous thought I feel I have ever thought of that is, that I don’t need lots wealth or money, this is probably 15, or 20, or 24 years old me. I do think that all I need is just a comfortable environment, a small house, a car, some amount of money in the bank, just an average kind of life.

I know many people still think this way even at 40 or 50. But now I just see myself as being Stu… then by thinking that way. And I now know why I was thinking that way, It is because i was scared, I wasn’t just good enough. Am not actually saying am good or perfect now, but I know am better. But the truth is that I wasn’t seeing any possibility of me living the average life I feel is the best for me to live then.

But fast forward to today I wish more than just a normal life, I now want an extraordinary life. What happened between then and now? Maybe its change, or self improvement, or personal development. But the truth is I now know what is possible for me.

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Note: Our knowledge of what is possible for us has a lot of row to play in the kind of future life we choose for our self. You can reread the last paragraph.

Few weeks ago, I posted something on Facebook, I was trying to validate an action I took without a second plan, I mean without plan B. I wanted to make myself feel comfortable with my decision.

Once in a while in our life we always try to do that, like trying in any way to make our self comfortable with decision we made.

But on a serious note, I never thought I should have a second plan until someone asked me of it. So I didn’t have any other plan, I was actually feeling uncomfortable, like maybe I made a wrong decision. So I try to easy myself, I published a short post on Facebook. I said something about putting all your eggs in one basket and watch crazy legs from kicking it, which is against the old say that you should put all your eggs in one basket.

Actually, It helped me to calm down a little, with a feeling like the decision I made wasn’t bad anyway it will probably turn out good there won’t be need for plan B. That last until a close pal commented on the post, and said something like the idea is not applicable in all scenarios.

It forced me to think again. Maybe the post was all about me, maybe that was the wrong thing to do, trying to prove myself, trying to be comfortable. Many times it’s good to be uncomfortable; it’s good to be wrong. We don’t have to be right all the time.

It’s not like I don’t believe in what I wrote or that my pal is wrong by what she said. But rather it’s what it made me to think, it made me realize that the post originated from a mind that was selfish. The post was all about me. Maybe I shouldn’t have posted it, I should have written it on notepad and have it myself.

But regardless, I still believe in what I wrote. Many times in our life, we really don’t need a plan B.

Because a second plan always has a way of distracting plan A.

Like some was saying… in an exam, if the instructions is to answer 2 out of 5 and it happens that you know the answer to about 4 questions, you will likely come to a state of confusion and probably mess up. This is because you will find it difficult to decide on which questions to answer. But if the instruction is to answer two and it happens that you know only 2 out of the 5 questions, you will be at easy and really don’t have to worry about which questions to answer, you will simply start with the two you know.

That is what I believe happens sometimes when we have many plans to achieving a goal, we can so much hope on alternative plans and loss focus on the plan A. But like my friend said it’s not applicable in all scenarios.

Here is another memory experience of my young days, during my primary days, we use to have sections with our class mistress where talk and act on things we student love to do or be. I really miss her, I mean my primary four class mistress, Miss blessing.

She shows a lot of concern not just to me but many of her students. She was the only one who tries to know where about of her students after leaving primary schools. She is one of about three people who positively impacted my early life.

In one of those our sections with her, she called us all out, stand us in the front of the class and ask us to tell the class what we want to become in the future. It was always a fun time for everyone.

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If you are an adult this where you get to hear lofty dreams of a young mind, imaginary wishes and what seem like a sense of purpose.

But in all of that everyone always go for the big shot, no one wants to become a farmer, or Laborer.  Many of class mate wanted to become a Doctor,  some Lawyer, some  Nurse… Miss blessing was surprise that no one even wanted to become a teacher.

For me, I told my class, I want become a Pilot. Everyone laughed, including my class mistress. Many chuckled so much and so loud than they have done in the entire section. I don’t know why they have to laugh that way about my dear dream. I was embarrassed, I started feeling like I aimed too high, is like what I was dreaming is impossible.

Though, Miss blessing tries to make me believe that it is possible for me. If I believe it. But It seems her encouragement came late, that dream died probably few minutes after that section. I was seeing in the faces of my classmates as little as we are then, that my dream is impossible for me, though no one spoke it out. But it was clearly written in their faces.

In my mind I simply choose to become a Doctor just as many has chosen, because I needed to choose career as child, that is one of the sense of beliefs that makes a kid happy, the idea that he or she is going to become any of the noble career that exist.

Fast forward to today many didn’t study what they said they want to be, including me. Few has graduated but not really on the career they choose in one of those our section. Maybe what they choose was impossible for them too.

Note: when you share your lofty dreams with low minded people they will laugh at you and you might likely feel embarrassed and quite. And then the dream dies.

As kids we dream too big, we always want to be the best. We always want to be like anyone who is doing great in any career or life in general. We want to be associated with name of a noble practice. And when we do that, we are always happy, we feel sometimes fulfilled.

We actually don’t see why we shouldn’t become what we want to be. We are always convinced that we can become it, and that sense of conviction brings us a lot of happiness. This happens because we are not yet aware of all it takes, the facts and figures.

But that really is the problem, when we keep our self open to all the negative information, like depression, inflation, hardship in the country, cost of education and more, when these sorts of information enters our mind they suck out the passion, strength and ability we have to work on our dreams. They suck it out and give us more reason to worry.

Maybe we should just act like a kid in chasing our dreams, maybe that is what the bible is trying to say about being like a child to enjoy Gods kingdom. We can act like a kid… just pretend that those negative information doesn’t exist.

Here is some of the things that children do that always make them happy…. Dream so big… Have Belief that you can achieve the dreams.

Then as an adult act on your dreams.

There are many past experiences, thoughts and action that we can rethink to coil out wisdoms.

So Rethinking the past will continue……..


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