Here Are 7 Things I Wish I Knew When I Was 18.

lessons

Before now I thought life is a fate, whatever comes your way JUST live with it. I thought it’s not in my control to shape how my tomorrow will look like. All based on the popular saying, nobody knows tomorrow.

No doubt, most people still think so. We think we don’t have control over our tomorrow, that the life we are living today has already been designed by God, so we can’t do anything about it than just live it the way it plays down for us. But I believe there is more to that, God or whatever you identify with – has done His part by making us in his own image, meaning we are part of the universe.

If He is omnipotent, it also means we have that omnipotent ability, we have the ability to do all things, because we have thinking mind.

The Mind, the source of everything that has been created and that will be created. Very powerful tool.

If we understand how our mind works we might be able to maximize it and make the best out of our self on this our earthly pilgrimage.

I don’t know much about everyone, but what I know is that everyone has great potentials.

Ok. Is like I’m deviating, this post was supposed to be what I wish knew when I was 18, not a philosophy post right? I actually didn’t know how best to start it, so I started with the thoughts in my mind.

But let get to it. Here are things I wish I knew when I was 18, I have known them I would have made better decisions.

I wish I knew that…

You don’t have to please everybody

Do you know that most people out there don’t care about you? We are all selfish being. Out of the 7 billion people living on this planet earth, it’s rare to find someone who is really selfless, selfless like Mother Theresa, Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela and some others, people who gave up gains for others, it’s rare.

So, we all have templates of an endless needs which we wish to satisfy, regardless of what you have had about someone saying about changing the world, he or she also has a need that he or she is trying to fulfil. The thing is anyone you see out there including me is expecting you to act according to a certain way in other to meet there needs.

Imagine trying to meet the endless needs of everyone you meet.

The thing is, you can’t please everybody even your own parent, husband, Boss, Children… understanding this will help us in two major ways, 1) to stop outsourcing our happiness 2) to cut down our expectations from people.

Perfect is pure fiction

We are living in an imperfect world, even the world itself is undergoing changes every second, there is no perfect state in the world, expecting to be perfect in the world where everything is imperfect is like a suicide mission.

The key to living in an imperfect world is to always start as bad as you can and see how better you can become.

Try to be better, not perfect.

Perfection is an enemy to progress.

Perfection is an enemy to progress. Click To Tweet

You don’t need to compete.

We are all living a different version of life, different experience, different upbringing, with a different inherited gene from a parent, different chromosomes and even different physical appearance.

No one can beat me in my own “game of life”, you can’t beat anyone in his or her game of life.

Competing with anyone is a waste of time and energy. The best person to compete with is yourself,  compete with your yesterday, the question should always be how can I be better than I was yesterday?

Every day I read about 10 pages of books, 2 to 10 articles on writing, blogging, digital marketing, Self-improvement, Relationships, Entrepreneurship, and more, the goal is to be better than my yesterday in terms of knowledge. Is there any improvement in my life? I don’t know, but it’s better than competing with someone who is busy leading his or her own life.

You don’t need to go to College to learn.

I think the best way to determine if most people really want College education is to get rid of the certificate that is offered at the finishing of a program in higher institutions, trust me if that is done most people won’t even add going to College in there to do list, Why? because most people are there for the certificate.

If most us will understand that we can learn anything we want from anywhere in the world, we might really rethink our education plan, we might just hold onto our primary and secondary education or stop complaining of not being opportune to go to College.

The thing is, if we are not opportune to go to college or university, that doesn’t mean we should not be educated. There is a vast database of knowledge on the internet, every information we need can be accessed by a click of a button, most of this information is created by people who have had first-hand experience, not people with a bunch of theories. The internet can be our college or university, where we can learn with sincerity, with purpose and with pleasure.

No self-esteem, no self-confidence, then forget about living your dreams.

Self- esteem is the belief you have about yourself, the belief you have that you can do all things, it’s the belief you have that you have a powerful tool residing in you in the form of a “mind”, that you have great potential that lies within you.

On the other hand,

Self-confidence is the belief you have that you can do something, like the belief you have about yourself that you can become a writer, that you can get yourself into a good shape, that you can speak to a large audience standing on your toes.

If we lack these two things our life will be frustrating.

You can’t grow more than your knowledge.

At 18 or 25, I will try to look into the future, I will ask how will all these big dreams come to pass. To be honest, I wasn’t seeing any possibilities even though I seem to be positive about everything, or maybe it’s that positivity that is leading me towards the direction I’m facing right now.

But the thing is, being positive is not enough, we live by what we know, what we don’t know becomes our limitations. Our lack is based on what we don’t know. There are ways to finding happiness, building a better relationship, building a thriving business, improving in writing, become a good cook, inventing new technology and many other things. If we are lacking in any of this areas, it simply means we haven’t gotten the right knowledge.

The knowledge is out there, for the fact that someone is already living the kind of life we dream to live simply shows that it’s achievable, we just need to find the way to it, we just need to keep searching, keep finding, keep learning and keep practising.

That is how we grow.

Always give thanks.

Gratitude is everything.

Sometimes I’m worried why haven’t I achieved my dreams, why does it seem like everybody is ahead of me, then I forgot that one of my buddies that we used to hustle together about 8 years ago in one of the main markets in Lagos has died, I also forgot that one of my classmate back in 2015, when I was doing a marketing program in a polytechnic, has died also.

But here I am still breathing, with great families around, great friends and with a burning desire and commitment to being the best version of myself.

Here is a tip on how to practice gratitude, every day think out one or two things you are grateful for, there are many of them, but just focus on two and then see how happy, energized and confidence you will be, especially towards your goals.

I didn’t know all these things at 18 or 25, but I believe it’s not too late to know about then now that I’m 26. The most important thing in life is to find the truth, the truth is one of the prices we have to pay for freedom. “You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.”

What truth have you found out later in life that has interested you? Please share in the comments section. Also, share this post with friends, they might love to read it.

5 Things I Learnt From The Movie “Alice Through The Looking Glass”

Have you seen the Movie? if you haven’t, you may try seeing it after reading this post.

This post is actually not a review of the movie. But rather the lessons I grabbed from one or more scenes in the movie.

Among Instructive/educational tapes and books, movies are one source from which I learn life principles, pick out ideas and improve some of my life concepts. Am trying to re-watch most movies that I have watched in the past years. But this time, am trying to figure out what lessons the movies are trying to pass out. Am watching now to learn not really to be entertained.

A few days ago I finished watching the movie “Alice Through The Looking Glass”. that wasn’t the first time I have watched the movie. But I was astonished by the lessons I picked out from it. What happened the first time I watched? Why didn’t I observe those lessons? I’m still wondering. Maybe then I was watching to be entertained.

Ok, Here are lessons I learnt from the movie. The descriptions and interpretations might not be the same as it was in the movie, but I pray you get my point.

1) We are the master of our own life.

In the first scene of the movies, Alice and her crew were in danger, they were chased by pirates. They also have the storm, and the obstacle of either rock or an iceberg that is in the middle of the sea to deal with. They have two options, to surrender to the pirates or take the risk and navigate through the obstacles with the storm. One of the crew members said it’s impossible, Alice being the captain commanded them to pull the stunt.

“We are the captain of our own ship no one will make the decisions for us, especially the difficult one, but we should also know that our outcome will always be determined by the decisions we make, results is also ours to enjoy. Cause and effects are everywhere obtained”.

2) Achieving Impossible Things = believe that impossible is possible

They survived, and what Alice could say about the whole drama is that “the only way to achieve impossible is to believe that it’s possible” what a miracle. Their odds of surviving was low. They had three obstacles to surmount within a short period of time. They had to escape from the pirates, they had to navigate through obstacles and storms. The most dangerous decision was to make a shape turn within those obstacles and which with the storm can cause the ship to capsize. That was actually what one of the crew members said it’s impossible to do and Alice said command them to do it. They almost crashed into the obstacles, the ship almost capsized but Alice climbed up something, (I don’t know what it’s called, it’s an old kind of ship, the scene of the movie was of the early 20th century) she drew out her sword and cut a rope luckily the ship gradually gained its balance. And she made that remark ” the only way to achieve impossible is to believe it’s possible”.

“With that left part of our brain always trying to protect us, most times we focus on what if it doesn’t work and forget about what if it works”.

3) If you can conceive it, you can achieve it

Trying to escape, she went through a looking glass and found herself in another world. Don’t ask me what she was running from when you watch the movie you will know. (That is probably where the title came from).

But she was familiar with the environment, some talking animals and humans there knew her. She was even a friend to some of them. She came at the right time his friend by the name Arthur is depressed, he found a hat he made when he was a little boy, which he showed to his father, his father criticized it and threw it into a dustbin. After that, something happened which lead him to angrily left his family and went to live in another city. A great disaster struck and destroyed the whole kingdom. It was assumed that everyone died. But after several years, he found that same hat, the first hat he made that he showed to his father many years ago. He wasn’t expecting to ever see it again. That made him believed that his family is still alive. Saying and believing so made his friends think he is stupid and insane. But he can feel it, he just needs someone to believe him. And here is Alice his friends, but his story also made Alice think the way others thought of him, stupid and sick.

Guess what he was right, later in the movie it was discovered that his family was held captive somewhere.

“Don’t let peoples disbelief discourage you from believing in the vision you have conceived”.

4) A good friend is someone who cares about you.

Despite disbelieving him, Alice was worried, her friend might kill himself, he isolated himself from others, he no longer plays as he uses to. What can we do to help him? Asked Alice. The princess who is also a friend to Arthur suggest “there’s a way you can go back in time, maybe if you can change the event in the past you can prevent Arthur family from dying from that disaster” Alice was the only one suitable to go back through the time because no one is supposed to see his or her past in the past. If that happens, the past, present and the future will be destroyed. Since she is not from that world she is suitable for the journey.

“She did it. She did it because she cares for her friend, even though she did not believe in his story, she did something to help”.

5) You can’t change the past but you can learn from it.

That was what TIME told Alice, she needed something, I can’t remember the real name, but a precious kind of object from TIME that will enable her travel back in time to change the event that destroyed Arthur’s family (TIME is the timekeeper of that world) TIME told her it’s a dangerous thing to do and also she can’t change the past but she can learn from it.  But she insisted. She stole the object and went on the journey. She tried in several cases to change the past but she couldn’t. Time was right, “we can’t change the past but we can always learn from it)

But she really learnt from the past. She learnt that Arthur’s father loved him. When Arthur left the room that day he presented his hat to his father, his father went back and picked the hat from the dustbin cherished it, and safely kept it. That was against what Arthur believed, he thought his father hate it, he thought he failed.

Alice also learnt that Arthur’s family didn’t die during that event which destroyed the whole kingdom. She discovered that they were kidnapped.

“Many times we beat our self up, wishing we can go back in the past and correct our mistakes. That might not be possible. But we can always learn from the past and do things right in the present so that the future will be regret-free”.

These are not all you will get from the movie, but the movie thought me many lessons about life the way I have never studied them. I recommend you to go watch it.